It’s the end of my trip, a visit to England to see my sister. The week-and-a-half went by pretty quickly, and how much I miss having my sister being geographically accessible didn’t hit me as hard before as it did when she and her husband saw me off on the train platform at Paddington Station. I suddenly clung to her and made sharp, mousy little crying gasps as the doors of the coach opened, and it was time for me to board. I did my best to be a big girl, but sometimes it’s just out of my control- my brow crumpled, my mouth contorted, and hot tears dribbled down my cheeks. It was quickly becoming an ugly cry, not unlike that of a child when throwing a tantrum… but from me, a grown adult woman… and little sister. Not a complete meltdown, don’t get me wrong, but the potential for an even more dramatic farewell presented itself as my sister and I continued to wave to each other from either side of the train window; me in my seat and she standing just behind the yellow line on the platform, within arm’s reach, distance-wise. We made faces and obscene hand gestures to make each other laugh, with tearful smiles, until the train pulled away. And now I’m on my way back home. Sitting in the London Heathrow terminal. I can feel a sort of exhaustion from my crying (which lasted, with fewer gasps and squeaks, the duration of the express train ride to the airport), and a calm sadness. Strangely, the feeling isn’t much different from the usual toll of airport security and the annoyance of crowds and waiting until boarding.
My sister mentioned how good it was to have me around and was happy that I’d made it out for a visit (first of many, I hope). I think about her new life in England, and how, even though she’s there with her husband and has made some friends since relocating over a year ago, that she might be lonely. Must be a little weird for her. I think about if it were me, in a new place, away from family etc., if I’d be sad, wondering if everyone had already forgotten about me. She’s just like me in a lot of ways, so no doubt she wonders this sometimes… can’t let her start believing it.
There were a lot of good times over this visit – don’t let the tears fool you! Fun England posts to follow, as I’ve been taking notes, but just horrible at blogging while on the move.
Cheerio till then! Boarding time.